But that do what people say... No, wait. That's what person say when... No. Gah! What could it be?

I don't know what I'd do without your advice on sentence structure, MS Word. 

Not your standard dog.

Today I was referred to, by the local dog 'expert' at the park, as "the lady with the Kerry Gold." 

Firstly: my dog has been mistaken for all sorts of breeds, but never for a brand of butter. 

Secondly: lady? 

Tonks, the Kerry Gold Terrier, and her friend Luna, the Chinese Chicken cross Bichon Frites. 

...the rest of the sentence is.

I found this half-finished sentence in my notebook from some time last week. I really can't remember what it is they seem to instantly forget. It's as though the sentence itself is sentient and has somehow made me instantly forget. 

It just wrote itself.

On Friday I emailed the first episode of my radio sitcom off to a production company, and yesterday I posted it to another company. When I'd done that, I pretty much spent the day writing the 3rd episode (I'm still working on the 2nd episode). 

The entire episode was finished in a day. It really caught me by surprise, I'm not used to things writing themselves quite in the way this one did. It's being read by a fellow writer, then I'll commence redrafting in a few days. 

Today I've had a break from writing for most of the day, although I have been wrestling with the plot of the 2nd episode. It's almost there, but not quite. Then comes the fun bit of actually writing the script! 

I'm aiming to have the 2nd episode script finished by the end of next week. 

In the meantime, I seriously need to do some housework. 

An unexpected side effect of being recently single.

What am I supposed to do with all the thoughts in my brain now I live on my own? My brain is fit to burst with rubbish that normally I would say out loud, but there's little point in doing that now, the dogs aren't interested unless I say a word that rhymes with park. 

I've written down as much of it as I can in various places but it just keeps coming. 

I get the nagging feeling I'm being subjected to a very manipulative advertising campaign.

I get this combination of leaflets through my door on a fairly regular basis. Life is confusing enough without someone having to ram that confusion into my house (quite literally today actually, the internal bit of my letter box landed half way up my hallway from the force with which my daily junk was thrust through). It's irritated me so much I think I might order a pizza for comfort. And then I better join Slimming World to cancel it out.

But think of all the writers who are in their 80s

During my most recent time of thinking it would be a good idea to start writing again (ie now, it happens about biannually), I'm constantly reminded of this conversation from Cabin Pressure: 

DOUGLAS: Two things, Arthur: Australian accents aren’t genetic; and you can’t do one.
ARTHUR (still in the dreadful accent): Well, you’re entitled to your opinion, sport!
CAROLYN: Arthur!
ARTHUR (normal accent): Sorry. Also it’s good because it means I can play cricket for either England or Australia, whichever need me.
MARTIN: Can you play cricket?
ARTHUR: Don’t know. I’ve never tried.
DOUGLAS: Arthur, you’re almost thirty. Don’t you think you’re leaving it a little late to embark upon your career as an international sportsman?
ARTHUR: Not really. Shane Warne is forty-one.
MARTIN: Yes, but he’s retired. I mean, that’s like saying Geoffrey Boycott’s in his seventies.
ARTHUR: You see? Well there you are, then.
(Carolyn’s phone trills a text alert.)
CAROLYN: Ah-ha! Gordon’s finally finished. He’ll meet us in the office in half an hour.
ARTHUR: Oh no! I still haven’t got him anything!
CAROLYN: Arthur, you really don’t need to …
ARTHUR (running off): Yeah, I’ll meet you there!

How to be single.

Just realised I haven't remembered to eat anything today, and when I opened my fridge I was again reminded of why I shouldn't go shopping on a Friday evening. My weekly shop consisted of: dairylea triangles, fish sticks, a bag of salad, a tin of beans, jaffa cakes, grapes, snackajacks, 2 scotch eggs, some Ham and a creme egg. What the hell am I supposed to make out of that? 

642 things to draw: number 29. A roller coaster.

642 Things to Draw: number 541. Skee ball.

Except I don't know what skee ball is, so I drew Guyball instead 

Radio 4, or why I'm sometimes late for work.

I'm a massive fan of Radio 4. It's almost always on in my house, my car and I listen to my favourite programmes on iplayer to help me sleep. The last time I put my tv on was Wednesday (today is Friday) when the Virgin man had installed my TiVo box, and all I did was set it up to record my favourite radio programmes. 

The problem with being a massive fan of Radio 4 is that most stuff on it is really boring, at least to me. I'm not in the target audience for R4, so although I love it, there isn't really that much I want to listen to. 

The big problem with this occurs in the car. I get in the car and a programme will be on about some ridiculously obscure topic that I have absolutely no interest in whatsoever, and by the time I reach my destination I'm so engrossed I can't get out of the car because I need to hear the end of the programme. I've lost count of the times I've had to sit in the car outside my house for 10 or 15 minutes because I need to hear what happens next. It's not too much of a problem when it's outside my own house, but it's quite embarrassing when the neighbours start looking out of their windows at me. 

And it's quite embarrassing to admit what I've been listening to when someone asks me why I was sitting in the car for so long and I have to explain the medium to long term benefits of Rio replacing Brazilia as capital city. It rarely ends with me commanding the sort of respect that knowledge warrants. 

642 things to draw: number 189. A microphone.

642 things to draw: number 8. A string quartet.

My new blog has been created.

So this my new blog. 

I can write things here for no one to read. 

My plan is that this blog will act as backup memory for all the rubbish that lives inside my brain and once I've uploaded it from my brain to here, there'll be more brain storage space for me to use on a day to day basis. 

Mind you, I'll probably forget about it tomorrow so this may well be my only post.